mangacat201: (Devil's eyesight)
[personal profile] mangacat201
Video: High Quality Download
Fic: I Stumble Forward

Artist: [livejournal.com profile] mangacat201
Author: [livejournal.com profile] alexisjane


Word Count: 61.5k
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: inaccurate depictions/descriptions of addiction and recovery/mental health issues/medical intervention/the IT industry/Texas, self harm, blood, unsafe driving practices, M/M sex, mentions of past parental death, unhappy childhood, messed up family dynamics/relationships, little itty bit of homophobia.

Vid-Rating/Warnings: PG-13, allusions to alcohol abuse and related behaviour

Summary: Jensen is trying to start a new life and not complicate it with a past he isn't ready to share with potential girlfriend, Genevieve. But when she introduces him to her troubled brother, Jared, things get complicated fast and the men end up with a secret of their own. But there's another secret, one which neither of them holds, one that will not just break their lives apart emotionally but could have bloody, fatal consequences. If Jensen can pick his way through the minefield of lies and half truths, he and Jared might finally have a chance at happiness – Sometimes you have to save someone else, before you can save yourself.


A/N: Big Bang's are not only challenges because authors and artists agree to set themselves big tasks, they're also always a bit of a gamble for both sides in the rush to describe the stories and claim the summaries and not really knowing what you'll get once the frenzy is done. And this year, I've certainly been paired with the most wonderful, supportive author in [livejournal.com profile] alexisjane whose story I read with pleasure for the great cast of characters, sudden twists and gorgeous visual scenes. Still, at the beginning I found myself really struggling with figuring out how I could and would like to illustrate the story with my medium of choice, which led to a period of denialist procrastination. But in the end, I was not going to let my author down and back away from a challenge and with her encouragement and enthusiasm, suddenly it all came together and I was able to create a vid that I'm really happy with because it gives you glimpses of the story and the central character dynamics with a teasing edge that will hopefully make you want to read it. So, thank you, [livejournal.com profile] alexisjane for your unending patience and squee, it was great working with you, thank you, mods for the incredible amount of effort you put into running this challenge so smoothly and thank you readers/viewers for coming back every year to share this time with us!




(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 08:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexisjane.livejournal.com
*squeezes you* Darling, it's amazing!!! I love it so much. I can't stop watching it : ) I know this one was a toughy for you and the story didn't exactly make it easy but you did a fantastic job and I think it totally captures the feel of it. I'm glad you're happy with it coz I love it. Thank you so much : ) &hearts' ♥ x

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 09:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
My biggest problem was that I liked the story a lot, but drew a blank on how to put together the differently seasoned characters and all, but when I actually quit whining and sat my butt down to go through the footage, I found a lot more useful material than I anticipated (and really went down memory lane on some episodes, which was totally nice in retrospect)

Anyway, I'm really really glad that you like the result and I do feel it fits the story well. So, yay last ditch efforts!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 09:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milly-gal.livejournal.com
Just letting you know, I'm going to read first the watch, but I can't believe there's a vid this year *so excited* I bet it's fabtastic and I will be back to squee later :D

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 09:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
Thank you! Of course you're totally allowed to read first and be back later. Incidentally this is my third bigbang vid in as many years (which I personally find entirely baffling) but I do admit it's not the most widespread bigbang art medium. I hope you have fun with the story!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 10:35 am (UTC)
ext_388233: (Default)
From: [identity profile] meesasometimes.livejournal.com
that was amazing, it was perfect, the music choice *shiver*...wonderfuly haunting. This vid did exactly what it should do and has made me wanna call in sick to go read the story. Alas, I will be an adult and alexisjane's bit will have to wait....but I will be thinking about it :)

(that piece with Sam shouting out at the end in perfect time to the music♥♥♥)

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 10:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
Thank you, thank you! That is the whole point, to make you ask for more. I'm still proud that you're being a responsible adult though, that is a commendable and brave choice. Thank you for viewing and reviewing!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 12:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milly-gal.livejournal.com
And I'm back and WOW! I managed to hold it mostly all the way together for the entirety of the fic, there was eye leakage and there was lumps in the throat and THEN I went and watched your vid and I cried all over the place. That's beautiful, you've done an amazing job with the clips you picked and which order you've put them together, every emotion I felt whilst reading came slamming back into my chest with the final moment with 'Jared' screaming, drunk and hpeless looking and the last look at 'Jensen's' face as his mother cradles his cheek...Just wow!

Between the pair of you I think I might be a little broken!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 12:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
Awwwwwwwwwwww, you give the best compliments, really! I'm very glad you found visual representation of the story in the vid, that was my utmost concern and you'll have to excuse me if I don't at all mind the tears! Thank you for coming to read and watch and review, it's much appreciated!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milly-gal.livejournal.com
Only in OUR FANDOM could the phrase, Between the pair of you I think I might be a little broken! be taken as a compliment, but it SO is! What a wonderful pairing, the universe was smiling the day she got you to pick Aj's fic :)

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
*laughs* oh yeah, only in our fandom... and picking actually was a really rush-oh-god-claiming-started-gut-choice, but I'm really glad how it turned out!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-20 07:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milly-gal.livejournal.com
My two were aswell, but I am so glad I picked the ones I did!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 01:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jj1564.livejournal.com
Just watched this and had to say it is amazing, I love how you've edited it, the interactions between the characters have been done so well and how you fit the images to the song was clever too. Love it & can't wait to read the fic!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 02:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
thank you, that is great feedback! I hope you enjoy the story as well.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] somersault-j.livejournal.com
Oh hell yeah, OH GOD!! This is perfect!! I can actually recognize these scenes after reading the story. Gave me goosebumps all over again. Awesome work :D

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-19 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm really glad to hear you were able to follow the story through the vid, that was a bit of work, but it paid off.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-20 02:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dolnmoon.livejournal.com
Sweetheart this is amazing. Sad and teary, emotional and heartbreaking.. It gave me feels and you deserve all the applause.

Hugs and kudos.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-20 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
D'aaaaawwwwwwww, thank you! I'm so glad you like it.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-20 07:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ephermeralk.livejournal.com
having read the fic, this is AMAZING. you id such a fabulous job with putting this trailer together, it really highlights the good and emotional parts of the fic! AWESOME JOB!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-20 08:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
Thank you, i'm glad you think so, that is a great compliment!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-21 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tmn1966.livejournal.com
I really liked the vid and it pretty much cemented the fact that I wanted to read the story. I think you did a great job!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-22 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
Thank you! That is what this collaboration is all about, so I'm really glad if one work sparks the interest for the other.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-22 10:16 am (UTC)
ext_63196: (BigBang2011)
From: [identity profile] beelikej.livejournal.com
My goodness, this fits the summary so well, you really tell the story! The music definitely emphasizes the dark mood. Kudos.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-22 05:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
thank you, I haven't actually looked at the summary since I put the numbers down for claiming, so it's great that you recognized the story in the vid. The song is from the playlist Alex put together for the fic and it absolutely latched onto my hindbrain the moment I first heard and I knew I'd set the vid to it, it's gorgeous!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-25 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insane-songbird.livejournal.com
Hmmmm... i don't know the story, but i know you. These are the cleanest cuts i've seen from you. Slower pace than usual, less effect. Well, sometimes less is more, though. It seems emotional even though the only emotion i can clearly identify is a certain hopeful despair. does that make any sense at all?
*hugs*

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-25 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com
A lot of scenes get a much clearer and deeper meaning when you know the story, but I like that you latched onto the emotional output, it was the underlying concept certainly, because I thought I could make it complement the story much better than composing a teaser with material that didn't really match well enough.

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